Discovering Morning

today i took a drive down a road i had not yet been on. i was driving in search of a farm, but instead was so captivated by the drive that i rejected my initial mission. i drove directly south, on and on. the road dove downward and raised upward. it stretched straight, deeper and deeper into the surrounding forests and wetlands. shaded, then lit, the sunlight and shade took turns laying across the road that took me further into unknown. i watched single lane drives shoot right and left, leading the way to family-sized homes and old barns with breaking wood. i wondered about all the wildlife that had to be peaking out from their tree stands and bouquets of brush and grasses to watch this stranger rush by. in awe, i kept driving. another thought occurred to me. its something that i have been often thinking of lately. the prospect of marriage, of being with somebody for eternity. how badly i want for this to happen for me. and i pictured me with this forever love of mine finding a h...

killing time kills me on the inside because then i think of all the things i could be doing or the people i could be with like finding my way around colombia in a sunshine city listening to spanish and breathing the culture or building my own farm on the fringes of town like my family they are everywhere and i am too far sometimes, it seems or the one i tell myself could be my comfort

let's take our time. i wake feeling unrested and not willing to commit to my plans. this is a common direction that my mind tends to wander. but maybe all it takes is some time to let my doubts float away and then become ready for action. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ i had ridden the streets of the city on bicycle before but this time it felt more beautiful. the blocks were buzzing with people and sunshine. it was a saturday, and everyone was out to enjoy themselves in some small or large way. we passed the park that i remember sitting at one day for hours, just watching kids jump in and out of the water fountain while parents sat by, watching closely. when i first saw the park as i passed i felt some silly connection to it and wanted to yell it out to hannah, but figured i didn't need to. i gave the park one last look as we left the intersection. we overshot our destination by a f...